As I was laying there next to my youngest who had fallen asleep, I thought of my date here, with my blog. Inevitably, food images flashed in my mind, offering up itself as this other choice. The body and mind are both so powerful, working together, tempting me even though my conscious mind knows this is not a viable solution. The body works against your mind because it actually has a second brain called the Enteric Nervous System, which is a nervous system that runs from your esophagus down to your intestines. It is autonomous and releases feel good hormones (normally released in the main brain) when you eat fat! Read about it here:

http://familyfirst.com/where-is-your-second-brain.html

Understanding the science somewhat helps me understand my body and re-connect to it. I think we binge eaters want to ignore our bodies and attempt to keep it separate from our brains where we like to reside. When I'm separated from my body I'm not tuned into whether the food I'm eating is making me feel nauseous, sick or even full. I'm just numbing and hiding. When I'm aware with my whole body, I feel a relaxation come on but I'm also a bit nervous. I'm not used to being there and lately (these past few days) I came upon a new realization. I am afraid of my body. I'm afraid of what it might want to tell me: that I'm making myself sick in the long run, that I'm gaining weight, and ultimately that it is fragile and will one day cease to exist. There's a whole spiritual side apart from the physical and psychological aspects of binge eating for me. I wonder if this is the case with you.

I will often provide websites here that you can copy and paste onto your search engines. I apologize that I am not blog/web savvy and don't know yet how to provide actual hyperlinks. Hopefully I will at some point. See you on Twitter where I'm often tweeting during the day with thoughts and self encouragment that hopefully will help you too. I started this blog out of a very strong need to provide encouragement to myself, especially those weak moments when I want to go to food, but instead I will try to come here to break myself from this damaging cycle. Thanks!